


To Build a Home

by basteel-starchild (bastet_goddess)



Category: Club Penguin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Dreams and Nightmares, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sleeping Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 06:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23346586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bastet_goddess/pseuds/basteel-starchild
Summary: No one was really quite the same following Operation: Blackout.And nothing was, either. At least, that's what Rookie decided on as he stared at his apartment, feeling like it was his first time seeing it.It never looked this foreign before.
Relationships: Jet Pack Guy/Rookie (Club Penguin)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 53





	To Build a Home

**Author's Note:**

> So during this dreaded quarantine I learn of the Club Penguin fandom on Tumblr. I also learn that I have missed much. This is a personal tragedy for me.
> 
> For Bitzy, whose art made a poor bastard go bonkers fucking yonkers for hours, hence this monster.
> 
> Oh, and Happy? Good luck reading through this rollercoaster.

A lot had happened following the end of Operation: Blackout, especially given the rollercoaster of events that happened one after the other: the explosion, the exposure, the kidnappings, the dictatorship, the operation. Many felt that the agency needed to turn away from the public eye to lick its wounds and evaluate what it needed to do next, despite the Island’s clamor about their clandestine work. 

The Director seemed to agree. Guy could recall her announcement of calling off work following the official end of the operation, ordering everyone to go home and spend time with their loved ones and to only return after the new year celebrations were over. She did promise that everyone would still be getting their monthly salaries and bonuses and reassured everyone that the agency would rise again.

After that, it was another whirlwind of events. A new Elite Class was created to tackle major cases that required agents who were smarter and tougher. Rory and his team of construction workers had to be called forward to help with the rebuilding of the outer facade as well as the interior of the agency. Their systems as well as current protocols needed an upgrade. Guy found himself sitting through more meetings than he ever had in the previous years combined.

A lot had happened internally within their group of Leads, too. Dot has not yet returned to work, and according to the Director, she would be briefed separately should anything happen within the agency. Paige has been juggling current responsibilities with training for therapy dog trainer certification. The birth of a new Class prompted a call for a new Lead, and the agency was quick to bring forward a choice: Rogue Tvarkov, an analyst from the Tactical Class.

Guy should be proud to see his former analyst finally step up and join the team as one of the Leads of the agency.

Instead, he felt sorry.

He scanned the room full of Leads as they sat through another meeting, watching the faces of every person that was in the room. This one discussed any changes to recruit training and qualifications to improve the quality of agents they have. Not much has been brought to the table besides stronger physical training, more mental exercises, and a simulation of Operation: Blackout. 

Gary did not seem so pleased with the last suggestion, especially since he was absent for most of the whole operation as a whole. There seemed to be a permanent frown on his face nowadays as he pored over possible improvements to their database security and encryption. Now, he was arguing with the Director about the feasibility of creating a proper VR simulation of the operation in such a short timeframe, laying out the difficulties he’d face given the strain in equipment and budgeting. 

Meanwhile, Paige looked uncomfortable, wanting to be in any other place than here. It really wasn’t a pleasant thing when Gary and the Director were arguing, so Guy can’t blame her. She was idly tapping her finger against the table surface as she watched the two exchange points, the worried look on her face obscured by the stetson she wore.

Rogue, meanwhile, appeared absorbed in the discussion, giving it her absolute attention despite the apparent weariness in her eyes. He never got the chance nowadays to pull her aside and ask her how she was handling this transition from being analyst to Lead, and when he does have the time, he can’t bring himself to ask her that. This position was put on her, she had no other choice, and for that he was sorry.

Finally, he turned his eyes to Rookie, who just looked unfocused. Sometimes it broke his heart to think that his partner, the literal sunshine of his life and the agency’s, had shrunk back and became meek following the operation. He’s been particularly quiet following Blackout, with most of their “dates” spent wrapped around on the couch while watching a movie. Even then, Guy could see that Rookie wasn’t even focusing on the movie, thoughts in a place where Guy can’t follow him.

So looking at him right now, unfocused and distant, worried him. He wanted to know what was wrong, but he knew Rookie wouldn’t tell him. Guy wanted to pull him closer and demand to know what’s been hurting him to make it stop, but even Guy knew he couldn’t solve that. He can’t promise Rookie that he can protect him from what’s hurting him. That thought made his heart sink.

They were all facing their own operations against their own demons, and they were all locked in combat.

“This meeting is going nowhere,” Guy’s attention was brought to the distorted sigh of the Director, who was once more on a screen. It appalled him that she insisted on showing up on a screen despite the fact that they knew of her identity, but he knew he was not in the position to ask. Instead, he listened idly as she continued speaking, “Let’s approve of the physical and mental exercises and leave the simulations to a different day, alright? You’re dismissed.” 

The screen switched off after that, leaving the room in silence. Paige was the first to leave, muttering out excuses about needing to check on the puffles and whatnot. Rogue quickly followed citing a need to work on screening potential agents for the Major Cases class. Gary left to go back to enhancing the agency’s security. That left him and Rookie.

“Rookie一” Guy tried to start, but found himself watching as Rookie stood, gave him a quiet nod, then left the room. He stood and considered rushing after him, but found his feet glued to the floor. He looked around the meeting once more and breathed out a sigh, sitting back down once more.

In the midst of all these changes, Guy wondered to himself how he suddenly became such a coward.

* * *

He knew that they were all worried for him. 

Every now and then throughout the day, Rookie would find himself slipping into the crevices of his own mind, where he would drift in space with thoughts on anything but what was happening. There he would crawl deep into his thoughts, nestle himself between them, and stay until he felt the need to crawl back out and face the outside world. He wasn’t even thinking of anything in particular during those moments; all he wanted was to space out and do nothing. 

He’d blame it on the exhaustion. Every night he dreamed of something different, with different elements, but the same message nonetheless. Feeling trapped, feeling helpless, the look on Herbert’s face as he struggled to get out of the capsule. Every night he would find himself screaming at some unholy hour of the night, in a cold sweat, the images branded into his eyes. He’d spend the rest of that night awake, trying not to fall back asleep, terrified of what he would see again the moment he closed his eyes. 

Rookie knew he looked tired, and he knew that it was worrying the people around him. He could recall the look on Guy’s face when he snapped back to reality, when he realized that it was just the two of them in the room. During then, Rookie was too embarrassed by the fact that he was caught drifting away, and instead got up and nodded his way out of leaving without any conversation between them.

He didn’t know how to tell Guy about how he felt, because there were no words to describe it. There was a void where there would usually be happiness and positivity, and Rookie had no idea how to fill it. He didn’t know how he could describe that feeling without making a fool of himself, so he doesn’t. For once in his life, he found himself unable to gather the words to say. It’s iconic given his position as Communications Lead and Public Relations Officer that he has no idea how to word the things he was feeling, to his partner nonetheless. 

So instead he tried to find ways to fill it. He went on dates with Guy every other weekend. He tried looking for more rocks to add to his growing collection of rocks. He baked and ate cookies, every recipe he could think of, but nothing worked. He tried talking to his friends but he still felt empty. The void in himself just refused to be filled.

It’s been a long day of that battle with the void, and Rookie was tired. He numbly made his way to his apartment, fist already holding the keys to it. Perhaps he should have that leftover pizza for dinner again and watch some shows on TV until he passed out, maybe then he could sleep easier. 

Once he unlocked the door, Rookie took in his own apartment. Most of it has been cleaned up of debris from the kidnapping, but he can still see the mess bright as day. From where he stood he could see his own coffee table toppled aside, his couch pushed to the side, the throw pillows spread about the place, and the broken remains of his flower vase.

He stepped into his apartment and took a deep breath, trying to calm his thoughts as they suddenly sped through his head. He could smell the pasta he was trying to cook that day. He could hear the music he was playing in the background, the white noise of a comedy show. He remembered thinking about calling over Guy to have dinner with him, but that thought was lost as soon as he realized that he wasn’t the only person at home. 

He could remember the struggle with Herbert’s goons as if he was experiencing it for the first time. His training kicked in as he fought against several pairs of arms, trying to get them off of him by pushing his weight into them. He recalled the clamoring of things as he pushed people onto them, knocked stuff off, but eventually he was overpowered. He remembered being pushed into his floor as a needle was plunged into his neck, the last thing he saw the shadow of a man who looked very smug with himself.

There was zero trace of that struggle in his apartment now, but Rookie felt his stomach twist. Gone were the days when he could walk into this place and see it as a home. He can’t scratch out the image of that fight in his mind. The EPF cleaned up his place well, sanitized it clean of any evidence, but he can see right through it. 

His apartment was so clean now, practically immaculate, but why did it feel so filthy? 

Rookie swiveled around and closed the door behind him, not even bothering to lock it as he tried to get himself father away from it, farther away from the memories. He figured that he can’t stay there for the night. That place wasn’t home anymore. 

And perhaps, in the long run, it never will be.

* * *

Lately, Guy has had no intention of having dinner or turning in early for the night, so he spent his evenings staring down paperwork he brought home to work on. His rules for working were simple: he was only allowed to go to bed as soon as the words started sounding like nonsense. Even then, he would crawl into his bed just to stare at the ceiling and count the taps it took before the sun started shining out of his window. 

Now, he was looking at mission reports from the time before Operation: Blackout. While idly chewing on his stylus, he read over the narrative report to understand what the objective was, what happened, and if the team was successful or not.

Well, he was trying to until he heard a knock on his door. No one usually came to visit him at this hour. His mind immediately thought of it being an intruder, until he heard a softer, more hesitant knock. He only knew one person who would do that, and quickly crossed the room to open the door. 

“Rookie,” The name was sighed out of his lips in surprise as he stared down the blonde man that was standing at his doorstep. He shifted his weight on his feet uncomfortably as he mustered the words to say, “What’s wrong?”

Guy couldn’t help but realize that he looked so  _ small  _ as Rookie slowly looked up and spoke, “Can I stay here for the night?” 

It took him a moment to fully process what Rookie said, but his mind immediately clicked into gear as he stepped aside and ushered him in, “Yeah, of course, come in Rook.” 

He watched as Rookie shuffled into his apartment, his head held down from shame or embarrassment, Guy wasn’t so sure. He stopped in the middle of the path to look around the room, as if unsure where he was supposed to go after walking in. Guy quietly shut the door behind him and took Rookie by the hand, squeezing gently before guiding him to the small kitchen.

“Are you hungry?” Guy asked, stopping by the fridge to pull it open. Most of the food he had were leftovers from previous deliveries from nearby restaurants, some home cooked meals that Paige handed him a few days ago, and several energy drinks. He looked at his kitchen counter to see the plate full of hardtack. He turned back to Rookie for a response and found that he shook his head no.

He nodded slowly and shut the fridge closed, leading Rookie to his couch. He suddenly lost the motivation to do any of his paperwork for the night, instead worried about what brought his partner to his doorstep. He guided him to sit down and sat down next to him, never releasing his hand, waiting patiently for the right time to say something. 

It wasn’t often that he got to see Rookie’s head swirl with thoughts. Rookie was the type of man to think of words quickly, the one who’d know what to say to appease the hungry media, but would fumble in the face of friends and adversary. He was, however, honest with Guy. He knew what to say. 

So Guy asked, “Come on, Rook, tell me what’s wrong.”    
  
That seemed to do the trick. Rookie looked down at his feet as he spoke. “I don’t have a home.” 

Guy blinked, “You don’t have一 what?” 

Rookie turned to him and had the saddest expression on his face, the distraught apparent as he stared at Guy. For once, he felt like he was at a loss, unsure what to do, not so confident. He could only watch. 

“I don’t have a home, Guy!” He felt his heart clench as he saw tears run down Rookie's face. This was the closest to high emotion that Guy has seen on Rookie's face in a long time, and it has to be sadness. “That place doesn’t feel like a home anymore because that stupid man took that away from me!” 

He crumpled into himself and let go of Guy's hand as he allowed the tears to fall. Guy could only shift on the couch uncomfortably as he watched, helpless, as Rookie sniffled and hiccuped. He knew that no amount of reassurances would settle the ache in Rookie's heart. There was nothing he could do. 

But he'll pull him close nonetheless and wrap him in a hug. It wouldn't solve the whole dilemma right away, but it should be enough for now. Guy felt his shoulder quickly dampen with Rookie's tears as he gingerly rubbed his back, staring ahead as Rookie continued to cry. He can't remember the first or last time he's ever seen the younger man so sad, much less crying. 

Guy cursed that stupid man for ruining his Rookie's space, for wrecking the safety of it and haunting it with the memory of his kidnapping. That home has been destroyed now thanks to his foolishness. He took away the joy and sunshine of his partner and replaced it with cold, hollow paranoia. Guy never wanted to see Rookie like this. He could never let this happen again.

So he will anticipate the day they finally put Herbert behind bars to answer for his crimes against the Island. 

He could still hear Rookie whimper underneath him so he pulled away to look at him closely, brushing back a loose lock of hair to see his face. It was blotched red from crying, snotty from being squished against Guy's shoulder. He frankly didn't mind, “Hey, it’s okay.” 

Rookie was quick to retort with a sniffle, “No it’s not.” 

  
  
“Alright, it’s not okay.” Guy quickly echoed the statement and pulled Rookie back in closer, rubbing circles on his shoulder. He gently pulled the man into his lap and rocked him steadily, closing his eyes as he got used to the motion. “You’re safe here, understand? I got you, you’re alright.” 

They stayed like that for a moment, with Rookie awkwardly bundled into his lap as Guy rocked them together. The only noise between them was the sound of Rookie's sniffling growing quieter, hiccups less frequent. It felt soothing to do this, to have his world in his arms for just a moment, and he found himself closing his eyes as the first strings of sleep struck him and tempted him to一

His body snapped awake as it remembered what it was doing, his grip around Rookie tightening as the younger man spoke, voice wobbly from the crying and unsure. “Are you sure that it’s alright for me to stay here?” 

Guy didn't regret waking up from that and instead pulled Rookie up to press a kiss on his forehead, keeping his lips there before pulling away slowly, almost reverently. 

  
“I’m certain.” He tried his best to grin for Rookie. “I promise, come to me when you need me, and I will be there.” 

* * *

That night, he dreamed he was underwater. 

The waters were cold, the icy type that sludged around the Island. Rookie looked around and saw nothing but the depths of the sea, the quick flashes of fishes passing by, and the shadows of structures he couldn’t make out with the little light. Sluggishly pulling his head up, he saw the moonlight, scattered on the sea’s surface, but nonetheless there. 

He kicked himself upward, an arm reaching out to claw at water and get himself above surface. Rookie was by no means an expert swimmer, but he knew that any moment longer underwater would make him run out of air, and he would end up choking and gasping for the need to breathe. 

But he wasn’t going anywhere, nowhere up or down or around the sea. He was static, suspended in the waters, and for a moment he panicked because he knew what came next.

The waters felt thicker, more sluggish, as the world around him felt colder and colder. The dark blue of the sea slowly became a bright, luminous turquoise, as if light had penetrated it, reminding him of his final moments before everything froze. Rookie kicked himself upwards and raised both hands in terror, clawing at the waters, a scream tearing itself from his throat.

But it did nothing. Rookie looked around in dismay as he found that his efforts meant practically nothing. As the cold waters got nearer, and his chest started squeezing from the effort, he curled himself inwards and waited for the cold to take him.

* * *

Guy wondered how many nights it’s been since he’s been like this.

In truth, he’s lost count after the fifth week of tossing and turning, relenting to his body’s refusal to sleep and spending most of his nights staring up at the ceiling. This was how most nights went for him anyway, with Guy flat on his back with his hand to his chest, tapping a finger against his sternum as he waited for the sun to rise.

By now he’s familiar with the slow process of the sunrise. Light spilled from his bedroom window to show him the moonlight, then darkness, before the world became a midnight blue and then purple. From there the colors bled into his bedroom before the first licks of warmth came, the sun fast approaching, and he’d take that as the cue to get up and get ready for the day. 

After that he’d need three cups of coffee to make sure he felt like a regular person and not some zombie on its feet. He’d make a beeline to Headquarters and train in one of the simulation tests to wake himself up, before trudging to his office and filing out paperwork. All of this could’ve been done by stepping in and out of the Tube Transport, but that whole system’s been destroyed now thanks to Herbert. The thought left a bitter taste on his mouth.

So this was how tonight went this time, with him counting the number of taps he’s made against his chest while watching his ceiling. He can hear Rookie screaming from the other room, but he knew better than to go over there and check what was going on himself. Once Rookie was ready to see him, then he would be there for him every step of the way. 

That didn’t mean, however, that he was hurt nonetheless by Rookie’s aversion. 

It wasn’t that he had nightmares in his sleep, by the way. He wasn’t keeping himself up day in and day out because he was afraid of something his mind would come up with at night. No, the kinds of dreams he had hardly even counted as nightmares. Every time he closed his eyes he would see the same thing: the dark expanse of nothing, a void, and him walking around it wondering what the hell was going on.

The thing that sucked about that dream was the inherent loneliness of it. He could yell Rookie’s name or anyone’s in it and it would only echo back at him. He did not know where was forward, backward, or anywhere in the place. He would spend the whole night wandering around it and looking for someone he cannot find, and he would always wake up in cold sweat with that loneliness sinking deep into his skin.

So yes, he would rather avoid that entirely by not sleeping at all. Guy glanced at the clock on his bedside table that read 0234H, sighing deeply as he turned back to the ceiling. Rookie’s stopped screaming. He didn’t know what the man did to lull himself back to sleep.

But somewhere at the back of his mind, he knew that Rookie wouldn’t. 

* * *

Rookie fisted the shirt he was wearing and took deep breaths, forcing his eyes closed, willing away the worst of the nightmare. His heart was thundering against his fist as sweat dribbled down his forehead, and he cursed the tears that ran down his face alongside it. 

Obviously, Guy heard his screams from across the hall. Rookie was waiting to hear the door slam open and the man to emerge with a plethora of questions, but he wasn’t sure if he was relieved or upset that he hadn't done such a thing. He really didn’t want Guy to see him like this. He didn’t have the words nor the energy to properly explain what he’s been going through every night, what that had to do with his spacing out, and what he can do to make it better.

Because he knew that nothing could make this better. No amount of meals or kisses or embraces would be enough to wrest away these demons he was fighting. There was no antidote, no machine that Gary could create that would push them away. No, he had to fight these things head on. Face them. 

So the door remained shut as Rookie curled in on himself, trying to calm his breathing, trying to center himself once again. He counted from one to ten, tried to imagine a flock of sheep, tried to think of anything but the cold ocean and swimming in it. 

Nothing worked.

Quietly, he wondered if it would be too much if he would get out of bed and go to Guy. After all, he did promise that he would be there for Rookie should he ever need him. He was probably asleep and did not want to be disturbed. Rookie ought to respect his space. 

But something told him to go there, nonetheless, not because he was being a clingy boyfriend, but because he thought it would help him. Maybe the comfort of sleeping in the arms of the man he loved most would drive the demons away, even if it was just for one night. Maybe that calm and safety would carry over when he has to face his apartment again, to help him sleep a little easier alone.

His feet moved for him as he shuffled out of the door and down the hallway, where he knew Guy was sleeping. His hand hovered over the doorknob as he considered if he really wanted to go through this, taking a deep breath as he took it in his hand and turned.  _ Now or never.  _

Guy’s bedroom was sparsely decorated, as he expected it to be. His goldfish, Flash, was swimming about in his fish bowl to the side. There were a bunch of closets, a full-length mirror, a bed for Guy, and a small bed for his jet pack. Beyond that, there was nothing much. Rookie immediately locked eyes with the occupant of the room, who looked surprised (and perfectly wide awake). 

Rookie made a beeline to his bed as Guy hastily sat up, worry evident on his face, “Is everything alright?” 

His mind seemed to know what it was doing as he surged forward, immediately crawling into the bed, sliding one arm over Guy and bringing him down into a tight embrace. His other arm slid underneath the larger man as he took in a sharp inhale, throwing his leg over Guy’s. His heart thundered in his chest. “Nothing is.” 

He wanted to ask why Guy looked wide awake at this hour, if he actually slept at all, but the thoughts died down as soon as Guy pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead. He felt Guy’s arm wrap itself around his torso as he took in another deep breath, nestling his face into Guy’s shoulder, trying to still his breathing.

There was only quiet between the two of them as they both laid there with their own thoughts. Rookie felt ridiculous for being here, despite the fact that he wanted to be here so badly. Guy was warm, a furnace in the cold winter, and he couldn’t help but bury himself further into him.

“I love you, you know that?” He lifted his head to look at Guy, who was watching him intently. He can practically see the gears turning gently in the man’s head, as if he was assessing the situation while waiting for Rookie’s reply. The man looked nervous, now that he was looking at him better. He found that endearing. 

“Now I do.” Rookie murmured, inching forward to brush his lips against Guy’s, and that was enough talking for the night. 

He returned to rest his head against Guy’s chest as he ingrained this thought into memory, hoping to memorize it so that he can go back to his apartment with it. Rookie didn’t realize something’s happened until he heard the soft hums of a familiar lullaby, surprised to find that it was coming from Guy. He tilted his head back up to confirm what his ears heard and saw Guy’s lips moving, forming the lyrics while idly rubbing his back. Guy’s singing wasn’t really that exceptional, best described as deep and husky.

But it sounded comforting, nonetheless.

That seemed to be perfect, more than enough for Rookie. He buried his face deeper into Guy’s shoulder and felt the small smile creep up on his face, despite himself. Guy’s chest rumbled from singing as Rookie matched his breathing with his, perfectly content as he closed his eyes and allowed his mind to drift. 

* * *

He didn't expect Rookie to fall asleep just from listening to that. 

But he was glad nonetheless when he looked down and saw his partner fast asleep against his shoulder. Rookie was snoring lightly and drooling just a little when Guy noticed that he was out cold, but he didn't mind that either. It was comforting to know that he could help his partner fall fast asleep after a particularly rough day.

Guy stared up at the ceiling as he idly rubbed circles on Rookie's back. This was nice, this little arrangement. He liked the comfort of the younger man's weight against his, a constant reminder of how near he was should Guy need him. He could keep Rookie safe and Rookie can rely on him for help, just like old times. It was just the added bonus that he was literally within arm's reach. He would stay like this forever if he could. 

He figured, after some thought, that there was no way he can trust Rookie to stay home by himself after this. He knew that Rookie was old enough, mature enough to handle himself, but Guy can't bring himself to imagine Rookie alone in his apartment. He can't bear to think of him doing his evening routine, waking up from a nightmare with no one to comfort him. He can't imagine his Rookie feeling alone in what used to feel like home. He wouldn't let it happen to him. It just didn't make sense now that he knew Rookie could just run to him for comfort.

So maybe he can convince Rookie to move in. Yeah, that would be nice. He can be within arm's reach when something goes bad, when Rookie needed solace and Guy was the only one who can provide it. Yeah, he could stay with him to rub his back and comfort him and reassure him that he was strong, that he could weather through it and return to happiness. Yes, that's right. Guy will be there to be Rookie's rock, perhaps his favorite and most shining one, and that would be enough to comfort him. 

He decided on telling Rookie in the morning about his idea as he pulled him closer, pressing one small kiss onto his forehead. Guy tried to adjust them by pulling him a little closer, appreciating the soft sigh that spilled out of the latter's lips as he inched himself into Guy's side.

He didn't mean to fall asleep that night, but he did. 

He dreamed of nothing. He considered that a blessing. 

* * *

Rookie started to wake up when the sun was high up in the sky and the world was busy with the noises of morning. He squinted as he stared at the window in confusion, wondering why it unabashingly streamed in sunlight. It took a while for his eyes to focus as he blinked back sleepiness and yawned. 

He wasn't surprised to find himself still entangled with Guy, but he was surprised to see him asleep as well. He tilted his head back just to see everything: the dark curls atop his head, the relaxed curve of his thick eyebrows, the upwards twitching of his lips. Rookie frowned as he noticed the tired, dark circles under his eyes. In all his worries about his own demons, Rookie never figured to ask Guy how he was doing. Was that why he was awake when Rookie came in? He wanted to ask, but didn't know where to start. 

But he took the time to memorize Guy's face, committing it to memory for the near future. He's never seen the man so peaceful, so serene. It almost alluded him that Guy was only a few years older than he was, not a different generation entirely. It was wonderful to see what he looked like when he wasn't Jet Pack Guy, Tactical Lead and spy extraordinaire, but as Guy, the man who's just seen too much.

It took him a moment to notice that Guy was stirring, slowly waking up from his constant moving. Rookie finally froze when his eyes locked with Guy's, still half open from sleepiness and sluggish. For a moment, there was silence between them as he held his breath, wondering what Guy would say. Or what he would say first. 

In the end, Guy slowly blinked and reached up to pull a strand of hair away from Rookie's head, taking him with both arms and rolling him onto his back. He shifted uncomfortably with the sudden shift in positions, feeling Guy's body grow impossibly hot over him. 

“Move in with me.” Rookie froze as the man murmured sleepily into his ear, a shiver running down his spine from the sheer proximity of his lips. Guy's hand was tracing shapes on his skin as he continued, syllables stubbornly tied together by his tongue, “Let’s go to your place and pack it up.”    
  


The suddenness of the proposal made his heart skip a beat. He tried to make sure he heard Guy right. Move in with him, he said? Actually, honest to goodness, move in with him? They've hardly been together for a year and yet Guy wanted him to move in. This was supposed to be something major, right? 

Rookie turned his head to the nearby clock on the nightstand and saw that it read 0939H, well past their usual call-in time in the agency. By this hour, they would usually be doing their separate tasks, or they would be called to a meeting. Usually, the both of them would be wide awake, dressed, and ready to do their jobs. The other Leads must be getting worried. It didn't feel right for him to let them worry.

So, painfully, Rookie had to be the voice of reason. “Guy, we have work today.” 

“You’re not usually the reasonable one of the two of us.” Guy's drowsy frown elicited a grin from him. He tilted his lips to the side to press gentle, sloppy kisses on Rookie's face, aimless and drowsy but nonetheless affectionate. “I’ll call Gary and tell him we’re busy. Move in with me.”

Rookie thought about it. He never moved in with anyone, ever before. It's always just been himself all his adult life (not counting his one roommate in the Academy), so he wasn't so confident with how he would fare with a roommate, much less his actual boyfriend. His mind dutifully reminded him of the earlier incident, prompting him to pull away from Guy's kisses, despite how much he loved them. “I have nightmares, Guy.” 

“So do I.” Guy replied without a beat, blinking sleep out of his eyes to look at Rookie firmly. It was the closest Rookie had seen of Guy giving him his usual no-nonsense look this morning, despite the ridiculousness of his next sentence. “We can have nightmares together.” 

“Have you really thought this through?” Rookie asked after a moment, regarding Guy's sleepy expression and unfocused eyes. He reached over to run his hand through Guy's hair, watching him blink and smile sleepily from the attention. “You’re still half-asleep.” 

“I’m sure of it.” And yet he sounded so confident. He perked his head up, “Is it a yes or a no?” 

In truth, Rookie had no idea when he would have this choice again. The idea of waking up in the same bed as Guy, living in the same room as Guy, and being with him more than the time they allot for dates enticed him. He wanted that opportunity to be around to pull Guy away from paperwork, to lull him to bed or make sure he ate something. He wanted to be there to face Guy's demons with the same energy Guy wanted to face his own.

And they'd do it together, Rookie thought.

He can make this place his home. 

“We can go there later this afternoon.” Rookie said after a long pause, pulling Guy closer and nuzzling his hair with his nose. "I want to stay here first.” 

The words came out as a relieved sigh, “Good choice.” 

They laid there for a moment, absorbing the decision Rookie made. He stared up at the ceiling and wondered what could've happened if he hadn't decided to walk over to Guy's apartment, if he had to go through his whole daily routine without having his boyfriend by his side. Suddenly, he seemed a little more hopeful. Like he can trust that everything would be a little more okay in the future.

He tilted his head once more to look at Guy, who seemed blissfully unaware of his current thoughts. "You know, for someone who calls himself a morning person, you sure are drowsy in the mornings."

A tiny frown appeared on the man's face as he tilted his head up, fake irritation on his face as he bluntly explained. "This is my first proper sleep in months, Rook. Let me have it."

Rookie could read into that for as much as he wanted, but now was not the time for such musings. Instead, he pressed his lips against Guy's forehead and settled in, closing his eyes as he listened to the morning noise outside. 

"Then let's sleep in a little longer." 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to stick to a branding called "hurt/comfort gay spies with baggage" and it seems to be working.
> 
> Leave your kudos and comments on the way out, thank you so much!


End file.
